Thanks for the prayers regarding my little public speaking event. Just wanted to follow up ...
So, I didn't throw up. Yay! Actually, I just heeded the advice to imagine everyone in their underwear. No. No I didn't. Then I really would have thrown up! ewe
Truth be told, there were so many people encouraging me via blog comments, emails, messages, texts and phone calls. People were telling me they were praying for me .... and you know what?!?!?! It was felt! I certainly had more peace than I ever have (while speaking), which was wonderful. As for clarity of mind .... there's really no way around that. It just won't ever happen. And I'm okay with that.
I asked Aaron this morning how he does this speaking thing so much? I'd be a mess all the time if I had to do it as often as him. A few people have been telling me over the last few days that the more I do it, the more confident I will become. My husband though? Well, he knows the heart of his wife. Here was his response to me. (Let me preface it by stating that he wasn't even directing his comment at me, I don't think. He said it very matter of fact, as if it was a lesson he had learned. Just don't want you thinking he was being mean to me....) Here it was - he said, "Well first of all, you have to remember it's not about you."
OUCH !!!! As always, I managed to make this mornings little event about me. I was working myself up, asking for prayer, being anxious .... because of me. Yes it's true, nervousness is normal. Yes it's good to ask for prayer. But I took it over the line, I think. When he said that, I repented. Prayed for myself what I was asking everyone else to pray - for God's story and faithfulness to be known - and peace set in. It was wonderful!
The funny thing about me when I speak, is that I hardly ever remember the things I said while I was speaking, unless of course it was something I wish I wouldn't have said. Instead, I remember all the things I wanted to say, but didn't. I have had moments of both try to sneak in, and I quickly brush them aside and thank God for the words that did come out, and forget about the ones that didn't.
Now I pray that His Spirit works in the hearts of the women who heard my story today to prompt them to be a part of God's caring for the Orphan! To Him be the glory!