Tuesday, July 22, 2008

For my son (and all our children really)

In the same day that I'm wrestling through not being able to be there for you, and resting in the truth that your Heavenly Father is ... the silliest thing happened. (Well, silly is probably not the right word.) I got a VERY SMALL glimpse of the reality that is the rest of my life - I can't fix everything. I can't make your life pain free, tear free, heartache free, or sickness free.

Tonight, while playing outside, Sam and Eden were both stung by wasps. Eden 2 or 3 times, and Sam at least 5. Oh my mommy heart. I just can't take my kids hurting while there is nothing I can do. Sure, I can rub some stuff on it. Just like I can send you some formula across the world. But nothing will compare with the never-failing protection and love of your Daddy in Heaven. May you learn soon to rest in it my son. (Like tomorrow would be good.)

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Do you hear His singing??? It's better than even mom and dads (and people say we are pretty good).

Hold to Jesus ... He's holding on to you!

Just to Clarify .. we are still waiting

Many people are asking us about when we travel, and thinking that because we got our referral last week that means we get to go now. Sadly, it doesn't.

In Ethiopia, the courts close from August 7th to October 7th. (Just imagine if that took place in the US. haha) From referral to court date, it usually is a 3-4 week process to get a court date (which finalizes Malachi as our son in ET law .... and no, that is not something we are present for. There is a Power of Attorney that stands in our place). So, we got our referral with a small window of just 3 weeks. However, because of the closures - the courts are overflowing at the moment. Thus, no court date for us. The good news is, we will be some of the first in line in October. Pray that we can get a court date ASAP once courts re-open. Some of our paperwork expires Nov. 21, and I would really like to not deal with that mess. (The paperwork has to all be current WHILE we are in Ethiopia.)

So where does that leave us??? Waiting. Our now 10 month old son will be around 14 months old when we get him. We pray for his health. We pray for his safety. We pray for our hearts, and our kids who have even less of a concept of time than we do.

When we started out on this journey, I had my ideals and my perfect vision of how this was all going to be. And even when we submitted all of our final paperwork (dossier) to Ethiopia, NEVER did we anticipate waiting for Malachi for this amount of time. And we certainly never anticipated holding on to a photo of him for 4-5 months before actually bringing him home. But God has gently reminded me that this is not about me. When we first saw the picture of Malachi, Aaron asked me - "Are you okay with a child that old, I know you wanted a baby". And from the bottom of my heart, I could honestly say "YES, I'm okay with it! This is our son! This is our baby." It breaks my heart the 14 months I will not have gotten to spend with him. However, my time with or without him is NOT what the heart of adoption is about. And God has given us a heart of adoption. Meaning we desire, for the sake of the gospel, and God's heart for the least of these to be a secure home for whoever God brings to us, whenever. We will be that home....soon. And until then, God has reminded me that He is Malachi's Father. He is Malachi's security. He has known since the beginning of time, and while forming Malachi in his mother's womb, and the 10 months until now that this was going to be our story....and Malachi's story. The little amount of time I have to wait is NOTHING compared to the amount of time God has to wait to bring us all home. NOTHING compared to the wait that Christ endured on the cross. NOTHING compared to the amount of love I already hold in my heart for precious Malachi ... 10 month old Malachi. Again, God brought me to Psalm 68:5&6 "Father of the fatherless and protector of the widow is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home."

So yes, my heart bleads, my heart breaks, tears flow as I miss him and feel the incompleteness of our family every day. But in this, God holds me up with His right hand. He is up to something ... can't wait to find out what!

(This is a lesson God is teaching me in every area of my life right now. If you are curious more to my recent thoughts about my story vs. God's plan ... check it out at my other blog ... which is where posts will continue to stream from as we wait for Malachi.)

Friday, July 18, 2008

ULTRASOUND PHOTOS (yes, this post is what you are thinking)

We had our ultrasound today!!! (That's for you Bmer.) :)

Today at 3 p.m., we received a call from Terra Bailey (who works on behalf of the Ethiopia program with America World). And can I just tell you, I had so grown used to this waiting thing, that my heart doesn't jump with every phone call anymore. No, I didn't recognize the phone number. And when she stated, "this is Terra with America World".... I almost replied with, "who?". I know, I'm pathetic. But then she tells me they have our referral. Jaw to floor. We do???? Really, we do????

She proceeds to tell me all about our 10 month old son. I wish I could tell you more - but I can't. In our email with photos and medical reports, it strictly tells us that we cannot release any information about our son until further notice. Grrrrrrrr..... Killing me!!!

So, we await said further instruction. Until then, will you please pray for Malachi. Pray for his health, pray for his safety, pray for his heart to rest in the Hands of the Almighty. Pray for us as we wait for him to come home. (Provi was so excited when she saw the photos that she began to jump up and down.)

Oh, and for some reason, Sam thinks his name should no longer be Malachi, or his given African name, but rather - Ronny. Why??? We have no clue. But hey, big brother is entitled to his opinion. :) Speaking of big brother, our beautiful new son looks strangely like his older brother...just with darker skin. Malachi has the Britton Eyes! He is beautiful and handsome all at the same time!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008


I sit here with tears streaming down my face as I view the beautiful photos of a family currently in Ethiopia getting their little baby girl. Yes, I've been doing okay since finding out we wouldn't be traveling this summer.... for lots of reasons. However, in this moment, my heart is breaking knowing that I will never hold Malachi as young as this families little girl. I will be missing many months with him.... unnecessarily.

Anyway, as for this family.... say a prayer for them, as they have found out since arriving in ET, that some paper work had a minor mistake - yet a mistake that could force them to remain in ET for 1 to 2 extra weeks. Pray for the courts favor.