Today is a challenging day for me. I'm seeming to have more and more of these kind of days. I wake up in the morning (much later than I had hoped to), and find that I don't want to do anything. Anything but surf the internet looking for beautiful children from Ethiopia, reading about their culture and lifestyles (which I'm doing in an AMAZING book called There Is No Me Without You - highly recommend it), and checking email every 10 minutes hoping that today will be the day we get a referral. It probably won't be though.
I just can't seem to bring myself to do the other things I should be doing though. This is why I figured I may as well write about it, since it's consuming every other part of me at the moment. I know there is always meaning and purpose and lessons in the midst of waiting for things. But I still am no good at it. Lord willing, it won't be much longer.
I got to hold a newborn baby yesterday. Only about a week old. (Oooh, it's all her fault I'm feeling like this! :) ) A wave of emotions came over me as I thought to myself - this could be the size and/or age of Malachi right now. Maybe he's just being born. How exciting! Sadly though, he won't have his mother's arms to hold him, and feed him, and kiss him.... he won't have a mother. He's an orphan. Oh how I can't wait to hold him, feed him, kiss him --- to be his Maye (mommy).
So, I'm off - to do some laundry, clean some dishes, pick up toys ... oh, but most important, love on the babies He's already graciously given.